How does “How Are You” turn into “The Story of my Life”

So the guy at my temp job, 37, is walking around being friendly yesterday morning. First off, sit down and do some work. Since day one he’s been right in between the crack of the supervisor’s ass cheeks asking THE dumbest questions that have already been answered just to be heard. So yesterday he asks and older woman, around her 40’s, how was her weekend. She simply said, “Fine,” and as common courtesy she asked him the same question. You would’ve thought this man was being interviewed for a magazine or a newspaper. He let it all go. I know everything he did from the time he walked into his house after work last Thursday until he walked back into work yesterday. Ugh. Why does he feel the need to talk sooooo much? No one cares. It’s like, where are your friends? Do they not let you unleash these stories onto them so we don’t have to endure this at work? Maybe you should get a cat. Sometimes they seem like they’re listening. I mean I know everything about him. And half of the things he was saying were simply because he had lips. Nothing made a point. Example: “I mean really, you gotta be carefull out her in these streets cuz people out here be texting and walking and then allovasudden they just stop walking when they get a text. You know what I do? You wanna know what I do? I stop right behind them cuz I aint about to bump into nobody and they think I pick-pocket them or something. I aint going down for nothing like that. Nahmean?” SHUT UP!

PS – I know y’all saying the same thing about me. I talk about anything. But at least I give you the discrepancy to click the little red “x” in the top right corner. But please don’t click it. Read my blog!

Don’t be Tardy for the Party

It was the first day of my temp position. I arrived about 15 minutes ahead of time just because that’s what I do. I guess no one else but me and the white boy got the memo because everyone else strolled in when they were just about good and ready. So let’s get it in.
A little after 9 a.m. a returnee decides to arrive with a bag of McD’s breakfast and gives pounds to the homies. We get it. You’ve done this before. So he proceeded to sit in my vicinity and eat his meal even though he was late. And I could tell exactly what was in his mouth. The breakfast sandwich and a whole lotta spit. I know because I heard everything. It sounded like a cow. Imagine if I dared to look up at his mouth. Ugh. Table manners people.
Also walks in a 19 year old temp. She’s dressed in what she must’ve though was business attire. I guess if your business includes climbing up and sliding down the pole, then she was right on the money. The girl had on shorts so short that I could see the black on the bottom of her ass. She wore moccasins and electric blue nail polish. And all day she twirled her weave. When we were asked to tell a little bit about ourselves, she informed of the important attributes including her birthday being next month. Who the F**k Cares? She should’ve continued by saying she like long walks on the beach and romance novels. This ain't eHarmony?
One man was decked out in orange and navy. Very reminiscent of the NY Mets. But his story ends here because he left and never came back after lunch. I guess he went to see the game.
You’re probably laughing and I can definitely pour more of this onto you but honestly, I’m making myself upset. People, you hear my cry. I can’t do this anymore. I need a place where people are on my level. Not to say that I am above the rest. But c’mon. You know what, scratch that. I need a job that surrounds me with people that are ABOVE my level. At least I could learn from them and take something from the workplace.